Catching Up...

I had lunch with a good friend today. I’m in Indianapolis for work and he lives close to Indy. It was great to catch up. We talked about family. Work. Life. Music. Reading. Lotsa stuff…

We also talked about the church. Serving in it. Ministering with those we love. The purpose of the church. What we can do. Lotsa stuff…

One thing that really captured my attention surrounded the idea of the reaching out to those in the college or around that age. The church over the last bunch of years (even back in to the 80’s) has done a pretty consistently, deplorable job reaching out to those in this age group.

Why? Do we not know how to reach them? Have we done a bad job of preparing them for this age during “youth ministry”? Have we not done all we can to prepare their parents to in turn get them ready for this time?

I hope to be able to help answer some of these questions. I hope to be part of the discussion within my church and with my friends who serve in churches. This generation. This age group of people I’m referring to in the post is filled with tremendous potential. Potential to change the entire world. Potential to end poverty around the world. To show the world what true followers of Jesus are like. Who followers of Jesus should be.

I hope for the future. I hope for myself. I hope for all followers of Jesus…

Love, true love...

I’m married. My wife’s name is Michelle. I’ve loved her over half my life. We met in junior high, dated our senior year in high school, and got married as soon as I graduated college. She’s always been there for me. Through everything. Through my craziness. Through infants, moves across country, job changes, struggles of faith. She’s been there. Recently we hit a rough patch. One of those things you go through after almost 13 years of marriage. I’m good at making it seem like it’s just as much her fault. And she’s good at calling me on that. But we both know it’s mostly me. I’m a self-centered, egotistical jerk (my words, not hers). I often care far too much about what I want, need, expect. And far less about her. And yet she still loves me.

I love her too. I love her to a depth I guess I didn’t fully realize until recently. I cannot imagine my earthly existence without her. I can’t remember life before her. I don’t want to even try to imagine life after her. She is me. I am hers. Love. Complete. Whole. Encompassing. Crazy. Frustrating. Bewildering. Beautiful. That’s how I think of our life together.

I’m away from her and our boys right now. I’ll be gone more than I’m home for the next 3-4 weeks. And I miss her. I miss her smiling eyes. I miss her “what are you looking at” look when I gaze at her. I miss having dinner with her and the boys as family. I miss her. Marriage is an amazing thing. We both take our vows seriously. We committed to each other. We’re to be there thru thick and thin. Sickness and health. Good times and bad. We chose to love each other, forever. That is a choice we made once. Once for all. And I love…

I love you ‘Shell. I’ll be home soon…

I've always wanted to be a mystic...

I’m fascinated by the contemplative/mystical side of following Jesus. The mystery of the truths of the Bible. God loves us. God grants us mercy/grace. God wants to know us. God desires us. These are truths I’ve been taught from very young. But I’m still floored by them. There is a scripture that boggles my little mind. Zephaniah 3:17. In this verse are the phrases about God, “He will take great delight in you.” “He will quiet you with His love.” “He will rejoice over you with singing.” I’m amazed by these words. The God of the Universe. Yahweh. The One. I am. Thinks about me like this? It just can’t be. I’m not good. I have mean, nasty, unclean thoughts. I’m unkind to my wife sometimes (too often). I yell at my kids instead of training them. I talk bad about people. I choose entertainment that is not in my best interest. I… I… The list is huge. But these words say that God “delights, quiets, rejoices” because of me. Me? Not sure what to do with that. Not sure how to react.

But another part of me is intrigued and encouraged by the mystery. Because the truth is… these words are true! Because of Jesus. What he did for me (for us). We can experience this kind of relationship with God. God wants to know us. He wants to quiet the noise of life with His Love. He wants to sing us songs. He wants to take delight in his children. And I’m amazed again. I’m amazed because of Truth. I’m amazed because I can experience this kind of relationship with the God of the Universe.

It’s mystical. It’s amazing. It’s true.

I don't get it...

I just read The Da Vinci Code. And I’m confused. It kinda threw me. Not the way it apparently did for many people. But it affected me just the same.

I’m thrown by the fact that people are tossed about by this book. It’s not that good. There are a couple loose ends the author never sows up. The ending is incredibly anticlimactic. And then there is the tremendous leaps in logic the author makes to build the case for the “startling new revelation” about the church and Jesus. I tried to read it very carefully. I tried to dig for the hidden gems that had caused all the confusion. I didn’t see it. I couldn’t find it.

I know many people have been confused, challenged by this book. Some even so far as to disavow the church and/or God. Or to stop searching for The Truth because of the claims made in the book. I’m not trying to discount those. I’ve heard second and third hand of people who’ve begun to question things because of the book. It saddens me. It saddens me that people could be drawn away from The Answer they are looking for by a book of fiction. A thriller, no less.

The Truth is there for people to discover. To experience. Jesus is there to be found. Not the Jesus of Da Vinci but a real, living person. A person who paid the sacrifice for all of us. The One. The Creator from the beginning of time. Not the person of myth or legend or conjecture. The Person who is calling out to all of us to follow Him. He offers grace and freedom and peace. He offers challenge and adventure and purpose. Jesus. Fully human. Fully God. Perfect. Sorry Da Vinci…

Fatherhood...

About a month or so ago my oldest son, Joshua age 7, came to me to talk about Jesus. He wanted to talk with me about a decision he had made at Kids Connection at our church. At the time I was playing a video game on the computer (Civilization, my favorite) and pretty engrossed in trying to dominate the world. I didn’t fully hear him and said something completely inexplicable in hindsight, “I’ll talk to you in a little while, Daddy’s playing a game.” It took a couple minutes for the actual words he said to penetrate my think skull or dull ears. I immediately found him and took him to a quite place so we could talk. He wanted to share that he had made the choice to follow Jesus. Those were his words. Not mine. He wanted to follow Jesus. To accept what He offered. Forgiveness. There have been only a few moments where I’ve been as proud and excited all at the same time. My son wants to follow Jesus. To try to act like Jesus does. To try to think about what Jesus thinks. Again his words. God is good.

But what an absolutely terrible example of fatherhood. If our father waited until he was ready to respond to us, what a train wreck we’d be in. If God said wait until I’m ready to talk to you, to grant you grace, to listen… I’d be lost. I was very convicting of my job of bringing up my son. I need to be in tune with them. With their rhythms. With what they care about. Are passionate about. I know God is that way with me. He’s the example of Father hood I’d like to more like than what I’m like as a father now.

May God help me…

Hallelujah!

It’s Easter! An amazing, wonderful day. There are very few others days that I get as excited about. Jesus is risen. Those words… The truth. Wow…

I used to tell the students I worked with as a youth pastor that this was “Our Day”. There are so many other religions. They all have “special” days. They all have holiday-type days to celebrate. But no other faith/religion can claim a day that we claim or maybe the audacity to claim what we claim on this day. Our God Is Not Dead! He is risen just like he said! No one else whether Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, Jew, fill-in-the-blank _______ can claim this. None.

I read a lot. I’ve written here about some of the things I read. Some writers question what it means to be a follower of Jesus. How you “do” that. Why we follow. Do we really follow? Are we truly following or do we just say we do. Etc, etc, etc… But when it comes right down to it, I believe. I believe in Jesus Christ risen. I believe He is alive today. I believe he is active today. I believe that following Him makes all the difference, makes the only sense. I believe He came to save the world. I believe that you are only saved thru Him. I believe in Grace. I hold onto Mercy. I believe.

Technology...

I haven't posted for a while. Had huge internet issues... Enough excuses. I'll add a couple thoughts I've had over the last month...

Grace

Our pastor’s sermon today was about the danger of religion. Meaning the danger of relying on a religion or system or rules to have a relationship with God. His point (and a good one) was that many people have even been good, evangelical Christians and completely missed the idea. They got caught up in living a certain kind of life, following certain rules and felt o.k. about themselves. How wrong that can be…

It reminded me of an interview I read a few months ago between Bono (of U2) and an author who is not a follower of Jesus. Their conversation drifted into spirituality. Bono makes this statement about grace that is one of the most powerful I’ve heard…

Bono: You see, at the center of all religions is the idea of Karma. You know, what you put out comes back to you: an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, or in physics—in physical laws—every action is met by an equal or an opposite one. It's clear to me that Karma is at the very heart of the universe. I'm absolutely sure of it. And yet, along comes this idea called Grace to upend all that "as you reap, so you will sow" stuff. Grace defies reason and logic. Love interrupts, if you like, the consequences of your actions, which in my case is very good news indeed, because I've done a lot of stupid stuff.

Assayas: I'd be interested to hear that.

Bono: That's between me and God. But I'd be in big trouble if Karma was going to finally be my judge. I'd be in deep shit. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity.

All I can say to that is AMEN and AMEN! May it be for me as well!

You can read a larger excerpt of this interview (which became a book) here

Passion and Football

The Major League Soccer season (MLS) kicked off this weekend. My beloved Chicago Fire opened on the road at FC Dallas. The hated “hoops”. The Fire will actually play their first 9 games on the road waiting for the opening of their new stadium in June. The season started off on a very down note. The Fire lost 3-2. It was especially disappointing considering we were up 0-1 and 1-2 before Dallas came back to win. The only encouraging thing was that a couple of our young players played extremely well. Most notably Chris Rolfe.

It’s very difficult to explain the passion associated with being a football (soccer) fan to pretty much anyone. The rest of the world understands but Americans just don’t get it. You live and die with your club. The ups and downs are incredible. I was pretty much grumpy all Saturday evening after the Fire loss. I don’t know many fans of traditional American sports that come close to most football fans.

Unfortunately, when I compare this aspect of my life and being a follower of Jesus the comparison just isn’t that good. Many times I’m not nearly as passionate or concerned about my spiritual life as I am about how the Fire are doing, what moves the front office is making or even how some of our former players are doing in Europe. I want to be. I want to be extremely passionate about following Jesus. I want to think virtually all the time about Jesus. About what being a student of His means for me day-by-day, hour-to-hour. But, it’s not. I think it’s that way for most of us.

’ve been confused by this in my own life and what I’ve observed in other followers of Jesus for many years. Why do we live so dispassionate, so quiet lives in light of the absolutely amazing, overwhelming gift of grace in Jesus? People of other faiths so often put us to shame. I went to college with a couple guys from Palestine. They were Arabs and Muslim. They would occasionally (though not very often) engage those of us who were Christians in debate. It was amazing to me how they knew sections of the Koran from memory, even sections of our scriptures. To be honest it put me to shame. But did it impress this on me enough to change my ways. No.

Hopefully one day I will come to the point where my relationship with Jesus will be more important to me than it is now. Or at least I’ll demonstrate by my calendar and actions that it is. With God’s strength I hope…

Oh, and by the way...
GO FIRE!
Tradition, Honor, Passion
Don't stop living in the Red!

Poor Marshmallows!

A friend of mine has a great post on his new blog. Please read and enjoy. It's amazing how we go thru these rants and raves as followers of Jesus. We're right - you're wrong. You're so wrong we're going to lock you away. No wait, that's not enough... we'll kill you. As Tim says, "Labeling someone a heretic, a witch or a pagan and burning, boiling, flaying, drawing, quartering or drowning them (not enough room to list all the fun we've had with heretics, witches and pagans) is a sport developed by the church..."

But Tim's point (and the genesis of his post) is this is not a phenomenon of ancient church history. The attitude and what it turns into still happens today. Whether it's the gay marriage issue or abortion, Christian can appear to hate as much as we love. Those issues are incredibly important to deal with but the way in which we deal with them says as much about what it means to follow Jesus as does speaking out.

I'd like to be known as a person of love much more than a person that is right. I hope I am gracious and merciful more than I am known for what I say. I guess I hope I can be a little like Jesus...

And on the seventh day...

Since my last post my family and I spent a wonderful week on spring break in Mexico. Near a little town called Puerto Penasco at the top of the Gulf of California. It was an amazing, relaxing week. My kids had the opportunity to see the ocean for the first time. No TV. Simply play in the sand all day. Look for shells. I got the chance to go sea kayaking every day for several hours. What a great time!

It really reminded me of the importance of rest. Except for holiday times, we hadn’t had a vacation together in over 2 years (since the summer of 2003). Oh, we had plenty of good reasons why not. Our youngest was born during the summer of 2004. My job is extremely busy during the summer (9 months worth of work essentially “happen” during the 3 months of the summer) and our local schools started right during that time in 2005. Those are valid excuses – not reasons. We need breaks. Time away. Time to recharge. Time to get off the hamster wheel as a family and just be. Incredibly valuable time. I needed that time. I now know my family needs that time too.

I guess God knew what He was doing instituting the Sabbath. A time of rest. Amen.

Further thoughts on "being"

In my post “To be or not to be…” I talked about being a student/follower of Jesus without being a Christian (or at least our common Western/European understanding of Christian). There is train of thought right now in emergent/next generation/postmodern Christian thought that takes that idea even a step further.

The idea that is batted about by those who think and write postmodern Christian thought is: a person can become a follower of Jesus and yet remain true to their culture. The meaning is that a person could chose to become a student of Jesus and still remain culturally Buddhist or Muslim or Navajo. It can be confusing and extremely challenging to allow yourself to travel to those kinds of thoughts. We’re trained to think that becoming a Christian, a follower of Jesus, means giving up all our “past” life to become a new creation, even giving up part of their culture. Virtually all of our culture, however, has been influenced or out right created in a Christian context. So it’s difficult for us to imagine giving up all of our culture and yet we ask others to? If a person becomes a follower of Jesus and still hangs Buddhist prayer flags, is that o.k.? What if someone chooses to become a student of Jesus, yet still teaches that idea in the context of the Great Spirit? More challenging… what if a new follower of Jesus from Syria, still honors Mohammed by quoting selected sections of his writing to draw people back to God? As I said these are difficult thoughts but I believe acceptable to God.

It’s very arrogant of us as Western Christians to think that “true” Christianity is our version. Our style. Our form of public worship. Our structure of organization. Our tradition. And yet that is exactly what much of our missionary heritage is. Those of us from a European heritage have the horror of the “missionaries” to the new world. The message was essentially “choose our form of religion (Christianity (often Catholic or Lutheran or Anglican) and our King, or else”. From the depths of South America to the wilderness of Canada, we subjected native peoples to virtually the same amount of horror as stories of redemption. We (Americans) in turn became to missionaries to the much of the rest of the world in the 19th and 20th centuries. But what we often brought was an American version of Christianity and tried to implement it wherever we were (and we wonder why many of these endeavors failed?).

We do not have the corner on the market of what it means to follow Jesus. People all over the world geographically and historically have been following Jesus for about 2,000 years in many different cultures and many different contexts. Believe it or not it’s not always looked like this. The oldest rituals we have a Christians today (be it Catholic or Orthodox) are not the same as they were even 500 years ago. At different times Christianity has been contemplative, apostolic, private, flamboyant, quiet, exciting. All good and perfectly applicable in their context. Even our most cutting edge ideas today will one day be replaced by newer ideas.

So why can’t a Christian in India or Thailand come to understand the saving grace of God through Jesus and yet remain culturally relevant as a Buddhist. Please understand, I don’t believe you can follow Buddha and find the truth that will lead to eternity with God. I believe that Jesus is the way to salvation, the only true way. But I don’t want someone to be turned away from pursuing Jesus because they think that he is an American or European idea. Jesus is beyond and above all of that. He is God. And as God he can transform any culture just like he can ours.

So I say again. I want all people (of the whole world) to become student followers of Jesus. Even if that means (maybe especially if) they never claim the name “Christian”.

Are you an Evangelist?

As part of my business life I read a blog by Guy Kawasaki. I love his writing and his thoughts. I also have a suspicion that he's a follower of Jesus (very encouraging that someone as successful as him also has his priorities in order). You can read all about him on your own (I've linked his blog to mine) but in one of his past work lives he was the major "Evangelist" for Apple computers. "Preaching" or selling the idea of businesses using the Mac.

He just started blogging late last year. Late to the party, like me. Early on he wrote this blog http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2006/01/the_art_of_evan.html about the art of being an evangelist.

I love point #7. It must be easy for people to take a first step. To sell them something. To sell them an idea. To let them start following Jesus. So many times we as Christians have made the first step hard. Join our church. Walk down the aisle to the alter. Be sure to follow these rules. None of those are easy. The first step should be easy. Start Following! However you can. Whatever way that makes sense to you. The easy first step to being a follower of Jesus is to start.

I find it fascinating how the very same ideas that followers of Jesus can use to tell/share with others about who Jesus is can also be used to sell another idea. I think it's because they are universal principals. People want to belong. They want to feel like they are "in". That they are in the "know". That's how we sell them things. That's how we "sell" the idea of Jesus. Folks want to belong, to be known, to be in. Jesus provides the ultimate answers to those desires. The final answer to belonging. I hope I'm a good evangelist. I've got a great idea to sell.

A boy named Su...

My best friend died on December 10, 2005. I don’t know how else to start this post. It’s just what it is. Song Su Shin died of lung cancer after fighting for a year and a half. He left behind his beautiful wife Cheryl and two boys, Ryan and Isaac. I’m still not sure what to do with this.

I’ve known Song since the first grade. We grew up together. Found this idea of following Jesus about the same time. Graduated high school the same year. Got married within 4 years of each other. Had our children just months apart. We served in youth ministry together for 6 years. He took over leadership of that when I left to work in Colorado. I find it very difficult to describe how close Song and I were. Neither one of us had a biological brother. We were each other’s brother. We also shared this desire to follow Jesus. To make that real and a living part of our lives. We wanted to make studying Jesus make sense. Not just for the students we worked with but for ourselves.

There are a few things I still struggle with. Some are pretty deep but this one is pretty surface. I didn’t get back in time to say good-bye to Song. I got the call about 5:45 a.m. that Saturday. I got on the first plane I could. I got there by 2 p.m. but Song had left about 11:15 a.m. It still bugs me. We talked all the time, weekly usually. But this time we hadn’t talked in about 10 days. Just got busy. We did have time to share over the year and a half. Time to tell each other “I love you”. But we never said good-bye. We never admitted to each other that the end was either near or here. I wished for that. I would have liked to say good-bye to my friend.

The other things that I struggle with are deeper. I’m really having a hard time understanding why. Why Song? Why now? Why wasn’t Song healed? Why did he have to die? I want to blame God to be honest, even though I know that doesn’t make sense. Even though I’ve taught so many others it doesn’t make sense. But why Song, God? I hurt. I miss him. I want him back. I want to pick up the phone again and call him, I can’t. I want to be able to complain to him, laugh, tease, pray… but nothing. He’s gone. I want to know what it’s like to meet Jesus. I want to know what it feels like to be complete. There are so many things I want...

Or do I believe what I’ve been selling (so to speak)? Do I believe? And the only answer I can come to is, Yes! A resounding, Yes! I have nothing else to hold on to. God makes the most sense. I believe that as a student of Jesus, Song is with Him. I believe that because Song followed Jesus, accepted what he offered – he’s with Jesus. I believe. I believe.

I still miss my friend. Sometimes I’m just pissed he got through all this before me. He knows the ending.

To paraphrase The Choir…

Now I feel the gravel under my feet
I suppose you’re walking down golden streets
Everybody always forgave you, a child of mystery
And I remember you were merciful to me

Hey Song, we remember you, yea, we laugh when we think of you Song.
Hey Song, we remember you, yea, we cry when we think of you Song.
Hey Song, we remember you , yea we love you, anyway
Give Jesus a kiss for us.

Hey Song, Flap your wings, flap your wings.

To Be or Not To Be...

There is much talk lately about what it means to be a Christian. Who are we as Christians? What defines a complete/real/true “Christian”? And I too have struggled in this area. What does the word “Christian” mean for me?

Two writers have helped me tremendously when it comes to thinking in this area. Charlie Peacock and Brian McLaren. Mr. Peacock’s book “New Way to be Human” and Mr. McLaren’s book “A New Kind of Christian” have influenced much of my thought in this area. But first a little about me…

I’ve served as a pastor. For 9 years of my life folks referred to me as pastor or even the dreaded (at least for me) reverend. I served in the role of youth pastor most of the time I was working with churches and I served in a variety of ways. Professionally (full-time position in a church) through to volunteer leader in a small church. These were good times, even great some of the time. But I struggled with things often. I served within a group of churches that had some very specific expectations and even rules for what it meant to be a part of the group and especially what it meant to serve in leadership within the group. (stuff like "don't drink, smoke, swear, dance, or go with girls that do...) I committed myself to these rules (mostly) and even believed in some of them but I always questioned. Why the emphasis on outward signs of my inner life? Essentially the communication was… if you’re a “Christian” you won’t do this list of things.

I’m now not so sure that’s a good way to go. Actually I’m pretty convinced it’s not even quite what Jesus had in mind. I’ve come to a different, well maybe not different, maybe deeper understanding of being “Christian”.

Actually I don’t really refer to myself as a Christian much anymore. I am whole-heartedly, completely committed to living a life as someone who is following Jesus. That means Christian to most folks. But not to me. I’m totally committed to the local church (yes a Christian church) but I don’t like many of the things the “church” in the United States stands for or has stood for. I can’t claim Christianity like you would a membership in a club or society or association or political party (especially a political party). Being someone trying to follow Jesus is so completely more than those kinds of ideas or labels.

How I think of myself now, comes from prayer and thinking and reading. Charlie Peacock suggests that the new way to be human is to be a Student/Follower of Jesus. And that’s who I am. I follow Jesus as I would a master or a leader. Where he’s going, I want to go (please notice I use the present tense, Jesus is guiding today, actively). I’m a student of Jesus as I would be of a teacher or professor. He is teaching me today (through the Bible, through other reading, through people, through prayer). I can think of no greater description of whose I am. I am a student/follower of Jesus. Christianity, being a Christian has so much baggage for so many people, including myself. I want to follow Jesus. I want to be a student of Jesus. I want to do that seriously. Completely. I want to raise my children to pursue after a life of being a student/follower. I want my friends. I want everyone (quite literally) to be a student/follower of Jesus. Even if (maybe especially if), they never identify themselves as “Christain.”

All beginnings are hard...

Don't I know this to be true...

I had a professor in college that would start every semester with this thought. Beginnings are messy. They have starts and stops. You don't end up where you thought you would...

This is my second attempt at blogging. Maybe for no other reason than I need to. A lot has changed for me in the last year. Crappy stuff. Real stuff. I (my family also) made the desicion leave a group of friends for new things. (i.e. we left our church). My best friend in the world died of cancer. We grew up together. We tried to follow Jesus together. We led a group of teenagers in following Jesus together. He's gone. And sometimes I don't understand anymore...

But following Jesus. Being a student of his, this is all that makes sense. So I begin again. And it's hard...

My family and I